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Fixing Her Eyes in 2020

What have you found hard?

I am a huge introvert and during the first lockdown, to be honest, it didn’t bother me too much to be working from home, not able to have people over to our house, and being away from much of the social environment I was use to. Then come lockdown 2.0 for us Melbourians and it was very different. I no longer found it ‘peaceful’ to be at home and away from others. This time around I found homeschooling full-time, working full-time and not being able to leave my house for anything other than a walk or grocery shopping for one hour a day extremely claustrophobic! Emotions were heightened, as was stress due to many other changes going on in my life. I struggled to find any real balance between work, family and recreation, everything was blurring into one! We are still in strict lockdown, I am still working full-time, homeschooling a 12-year-old for at least another month and desperately missing sitting face-to-face (1.5m apart of course ha!) with a friend having a coffee and a good chat. I am taking it one day at a time and relying on the grace of Jesus to get me through each hour.

What have you learned about yourself?

I have discovered in this season a resilience that I didn’t know I had. A reliance that has seen me being able to embrace the emotions of the season but also to keep moving forward. It would be so easy to get stuck in the extreme ups and downs of not just my own emotions and struggles but in the struggles of those close to me. Life doesn’t stop in lockdown, but it takes a certain reliance to keep moving in the right direction. The right direction in my thoughts, my emotions and my actions. I have definitely not been perfect in this have a fallen in a heap on many occasions but each time I have been able to choose to get back up, align my thoughts and my heart with Jesus, choose hope and life, move forward!

What have you learned about God?

I have learnt in greater depth the truth of Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I have seen the goodness of God in so many ways. I have seen the goodness of God in the kindness of friends, the small gifts left on my doorstep, and the calls to check in on how I am going. I have seen the goodness of God in the incredible team that I work with, the space that has been created for me and the support that has been made available. I have seen the goodness of God in the way our family has grown closer and stronger in spite of the extra pressures. I have learnt that the goodness of God will always bring about good things for those who love Him and live according to His purposes. As I have walked this season close to God, close to His heart, and stayed on His path, I have had eyes to see His goodness.

What is something that has brought you joy this season?

Plants! Yes I have become a crazy plant lady in this season, I won’t even tell you how many indoor plants I have now…I found that spending so much time at home (23hrs a day to be exact) I needed a change in the environment, and when two beautiful friends gifted me a lovely indoor plant I never looked back. I have always felt closest to God out in nature, so I decided that I would bring that to my every day. I now have a beautiful indoor jungle that I love to watch grow and change and it’s a place where I can just sit quietly and listen to the lovely whisper of the Spirit reminding me that everything is going to be okay and that He is with me!


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