I AM - Compassionate

For years now I have meditated on the notion that the first word God used to describe himself was, compassionate (Exodus 34:6). Why not God of omniscience? Why not God of valour or might? Our God is for sure a great many things which can be contained in no less than the whole of scripture and no more than the statement of ‘I AM.’ By embracing compassion, I do not wish to minimise God’s other characteristics. To ignore his many facets would limit his fullness, yet, I do wish to emphasise that he chose to describe himself first and foremost as compassionate.

Compassion has become my life pursuit. My stage persona is Lead Pastor’s Wife. My day job is a Hospice Chaplain. Undercover, I aspire to embrace all things hippie (to which my children roll their eyes when I mix another concoction of ‘God made this to be good for us’). Through all avenues of my life, I am exploring the notion of compassion. My unique window as a pastor’s wife and chaplain has provided me with many opportunities to see God’s compassion first hand and to also witness the devastation upon persons to whom compassion is not shown.

Offering and receiving compassion teaches me who God is, but it also causes me to question his reflection in this world. Since I bear the image of God, am I compassionate? If people were to describe me, would they use the word compassionate? If our churches are to represent this God, would they describe our organisations and us as a people group, as compassionate? If compassion is not even in the list of qualities others use to describe us personally or our churches, perhaps we need to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord a little longer so we can truly reflect him.

In my experience, I feel the most pressing aspect of compassion needed is to simply initiate attention. We have lost the capacity to initiate and our attention spans are sporadic to say the least. Our extreme individuality, exhaustive lifestyles, addiction to adrenaline and desensitisation to other’s needs have dampened our ability to be compassionate people. We are so preoccupied with self that we have blinders on to others who need our help. We are so busy and exhausted that even if we were aware of the help needed, we have no time or energy for compassion. Our addiction to adrenaline, powered by the devices and entertainment-oriented world we live in, are destroying our ability to be attentive to others. We have also been desensitised by the complexities of global needs, to the detriment of us actively meeting the local needs in front of us. Reflecting the compassion of God is an uphill battle.

I have observed as a pastor’s wife, that compassion in some circles has been incorrectly reduced to a feeling. For example, if one feels pity for another, they can tick the box of being a caring, compassionate person. What a shame that we should so belittle the monumental theological framework of God as compassionate to just a private feeling. Is that really what we reduced his declaration to? Is God saying he is compassionate implying a personal, private feeling? That is not compassion, our God is greater than that and we are called to mirror his greatness through true compassion, which is action.

Compassion proactively draws near to suffering. It initiates attention by drawing near to distress. This is counter cultural, as following Christ always has been. Compassion takes steps towards what most people avoid. It doesn’t mean you fix suffering. The power of compassion comes not in fixability but in the tangible offering to bear something with another, even if that is giving thirty minutes of active listening. Those thirty minutes of initiating attention, where you listen to someone’s story, brings relief because you are holding their story with them as you listen. Now two hearts, rather than one, hold the lived experience for those thirty minutes. Perhaps a metaphorical image of this is when Moses is holding up his staff in Exodus 17. The staff is Moses’ to hold, you cannot take the staff from him, you can’t fix it, it is his to carry. However, he doesn’t have to hold it up alone. Each person who contributes to holding it with him relieves the load even for a little providing strength to endure. Endurance, not fixability, becomes the superpower compassion evokes.

As a hospice chaplain, there is literally nothing I can do, death is imminent. With today’s technological advances, we have deceived ourselves into believing that things can be fixed. Or that if we stand back, then professionals can fix the issue. Many things cannot be fixed, rather they are to be endured. And more often than not, loving family or friends offer more benefits than a stale professional. It is a travesty that we have left care to professionals. Christians should in fact be the professionals on compassion. I have witnessed that those who should step in with compassion often stand aside, reluctant to initiate any attentiveness, falsely believing the professional is there to fix or frozen because their life choices have muted their ability to show compassion. Those who should be near and showing love become bystanders to those in need which compounds the suffering of those in need. Compassion does not stand aside; it is near enough to touch. If whoever you care about has no call, text, card, visit, etc., if there is nothing tangible to assign to your love - they don’t feel cared for and you are not compassionate.

We have limits, and being present 24/7 is not only impossible, but can be inappropriate. Still, I hope to spend a life learning from our God what his raw assertion of self as compassionate means. I desire to teach what it is, and what it is not. I endeavour to encourage us all to live lives that leave room for giving, and accepting compassion. I am passionate about inspiring the church to reflect our God who is compassionate, so that each of us, and as a group, can join with him and rightly say, ‘I am compassionate.’

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I currently work as a hospice chaplain and am about to start my PhD on Lamentations. I am a lead pastor’s wife and preach at various events and retreats. I have worked at churches in Australia and America across a range of denominations. I’m Brisbane born and currently living in Reno, Nevada. As a family we enjoy rock climbing, exploring new places and playing card games.