Manoah’s wife: When your child goes astray
A Faithful Mother
The angel of the Lord visits Manoah’s barren wife and tells her she will give birth to a son. The angel gives specific instructions: So be careful; you must not drink wine or any other alcoholic drink nor eat any forbidden food. You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and his hair must never be cut. For he will be dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. He will begin to rescue Israel from the Philistines. (Judges 13:4–5)
Manoah’s wife tells her husband, who prays, “Lord, please let the man of God come back to us again and give us more instructions about this son who is to be born” (v. 8). The angel of the Lord appears once again (vv. 9–10). Manoah prays, but the angel of God appears to his wife and gives no new information. Manoah’s wife remains the central character in the story. She names the baby Samson (v. 24). She follows God’s instructions despite the sacrifices she has to make. She demonstrates faith and obedience despite the dark time in which she lives. “In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes” (Judges 17:6; 21:25).
The chapter concludes, “The Lord blessed him as he grew up. And the Spirit of the Lord began to stir him" (vv. 24–25). God begins to empower Samson for his calling – to start the process of rescuing Israel from the Philistines. However, God’s giftings don’t override his free will.
The Heartbreak of Rebellion
One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye. When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.”
His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?”
But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.” His father and mother didn’t realize the Lord was at work in this, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, who ruled over Israel at that time. (Judges 14:1–4)
Samson, now a young man, initiates an unwise liaison with a Philistine woman. His behaviour shows his impulsive, worldly choices. He tells his father, “She’s the right one for me” (NIV). He aligns himself with the current culture and does whatever seems right in his own eyes.
Despite his godly upbringing, Samson has little regard for God’s instructions to his people as he marries outside the covenant. During the marriage negotiations, he also touches a carcass (14:8), something a committed Nazirite wouldn’t do.
Often, the first indication that a child is moving away from their godly upbringing is entering into unwise relationships, whether a romantic relationship or simply unwise friendships. Another sign concerns the unwise use of their time. Why does Samson spend time in Timnah, a Philistine town? Manoah and his wife experience the heartbreak of a wayward child. Samson shows disrespect for the sacrifices his parents made to follow the angel’s instructions.
Even with the best parents, some children go astray. Adam and Eve have the best parent ever, God. Yet they still choose to disobey him. Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” is a general principle, not a promise.
Furthermore, the text doesn’t indicate that Manoah or his wife parent inadequatly. Elsewhere, the Bible notes bad parenting. “Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, ‘Why are you doing that?’ (1 Kings 1:6). Also Eli, “I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them” (1 Samuel 3:13). Nothing like this is said about Manoah or his wife.
God’s Sovereignty in the Mess
Surprisingly, we read that God uses Samson’s marriage as an opportunity to confront the Philistines (v. 4). Samson pursues a woman he desires, but God pursues a confrontation with the Philistines. Sometimes, we wonder how God can advance his purposes despite obvious character flaws in the people he chooses to use.
Unlike the other judges, Samson doesn’t lead an army but instead confronts the Philistines independently through personal encounters, which become the means by which God strikes them down. Yet, we can hardly imagine his parents' anguish as they watch their son’s violent nature and his sexual immorality. Samson kills 30 men at his wedding (14:19), burns the Philistines' crops (15:4–5), kills more Philistines in revenge (15:8), feigns surrender and kills 1,000 Philistines with a donkey’s jawbone (15:14–16), visits a prostitute (16:1–3), and finally lives with Delilah, who betrays him (16:4–21).
On a side note, Samson doesn’t lose his strength because his hair possesses supernatural power. He loses it because the removal of his hair marks the abandonment of Nazirite consecration (Judges 16:17).
When Samson returns to God in humility, God empowers him to perform his final act: collapsing the pillars of the Philistine Temple (16:28–30). He kills more Philistines in his death than during his lifetime (v. 30). Despite all his wrong choices, God uses him powerfully to begin delivering his people from the Philistines. God works through Samson without endorsing his bad motives.
“Later his brothers and other relatives went down to get his body. They took him back home and buried him” (Judges 16:31). Hebrews 11:32 also mentions Samson in the hall of faith.
Ongoing Blessing
Samson is born to a barren woman, so how does he now have brothers? The story's initial focus suggests that Manoah doesn’t have a second wife. So it seems that, like Hannah (1 Samuel 2:21), Manoah’s wife has more children following a miraculous birth. God doesn’t abandon her to her sorrow but continues to bless her.
Through all the disappointments associated with Samson’s poor lifestyle choices, God teaches parents to keep trusting God to “work all things together for good” (Romans 8:28), even when a child goes astray.
Susan Barnes is the author of 10 Blessings of God You Won’t Want to Miss. She has also published hundreds of devotional articles and recently started a podcast. She has been involved in pastoral ministry for thirty years, serving in various roles at different churches where her husband was the pastor. After gaining a degree in Christian ministry, she pastored Baptist Churches in Victoria and New South Wales in an interim capacity.
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